Below are some time-tested exercises to help you listen to and assess the condition and capacity of your soul. They are wonderful resources to return to again and again, especially when your soul feels depleted. May these simple exercises bless you into fullness and abundance of being.
Step 1 – Invite the Lord into the Process:
It can be so tempting to rush head-long into things like this, trying to figure them out on our own strength and knowledge. Something in us often wants to cut to the chase, get to the solution, and just fix the problem…and to do it all on our own, so we can take the credit.
Who knows your soul better than God? He created your soul – mysterious, tender, and wild. I encourage you to prayerfully invite Him into the process. Allow Him to show you what steps you might need to take to care for your soul. Your job is simply to pay attention to what He places on your heart and mind, and then do it.
Parker Palmer describes the soul as follows: “The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy. It knows how to survive in hard places. But it is also shy. Just like a wild animal, it seeks safety in the dense underbrush. If we want to see a wild animal, we know that the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods yelling for it to come out.”
May you treat your soul like a wild animal and use these exercises to gently coax it out into the light.
Step 2 – Soul Assessment/Evaluation:
Pause for a moment to listen to your soul, to evaluate what state your soul is in.
How full is it, in each category, on a scale of zero to 10? (0 = empty, 10=overflowing). Draw a line and assign a number that represents the fullness at this moment.
What has caused the fullness or emptiness you are currently experiencing in each category? (Listen closely to what you honestly answer). Consider writing down your answers.
Step 3 – Identify Specific Things That Fill/Deplete Your Soul:
Use the exercises below to identify specific things that fill or deplete your soul. Pay close attention to what your soul is asking for currently, rather than what it has historically wanted in the past. Maybe something new has immerged.
No Limits Exercise:
If there were no time limits, no money limits, no limits holding you back in any way. Everything you wanted to do you could fit into your schedule, you’d have the physical ability and energy to accomplish, and you could afford. What things would you love to do? What might fill you up to overflowing? Write them down.
(Note: When I have done this exercise with groups in the past, including at Christian retreats, after everyone has written down their answers, I have asked them if spending time with God made their list. Busyness is often one of the biggest excuses I hear for not spending time with God, yet when given all the time in the world in this exercise, frequently God still didn’t make the cut. Hmmm. What is that saying about the way we view God or how we are approaching spending time with him, the ultimate caretaker of our souls? Should our time spent with Him really not be life giving, soul filling, and something we woud love to do? What about you? Would God make your list? Why or why not? What might need to change so that God naturally comes to mind when you like of life-giving soul care?)
St. Ignatius of Loyola Exercise – Consolation vs Desolation:
St. Ignatius practised some meaningful disciplines that are still used today. In this exercise, he asked people to do a review (Examen) of their day and identify the moments of Consolation vs Desolation throughout the day. Consolation being those moments that brought life, love, joy, happiness, abundance, and a sense of God’s presence or approval. Desolation being the opposite, those moments that killed and drained our souls, bringing fear, anger, sadness, scarcity, and a sense of God’s absence or disapproval.
Review your day, week, or month. What brought you life, energy, love, joy, happiness, abundance, and a sense of God’s presence? What brought you death, a drained soul, fear, anger, sadness, scarcity, and a sense of God’s absence? Try doing this exercise daily over a period of time and watch for the patterns in your responses. Then move toward the things that bring you life, love, and more of God’s loving presence.
Embracing God’s Gift of Limits:
What are the specific (possibly unique) human limitations you need to embrace in order to nurture and care for your soul/being? (Examples: 1) I need eight hours of sleep each night to function at my best. 2) As an introvert I can sometimes have a limited relational capacity; large social events filled with mostly strangers can feel awkward and draining for me if I’m not already filled up beforehand.)
Healthy Rhythms/Pace of Life:
What are some Healthy Rhythms you need to have in your life to be overflowing in each category of my soul/being? (Examples based on my human limitations noted above: I’m at my best when I go to sleep (get my eight hours) and get up at the same times everyday, including weekends. Secondly, I enjoy large social events more when I’ve planned ahead and have scheduled time to deeply connect with a close personal friend a day or two before the event, because then I go into the event feeling relationally filled up.)
Soul Care Table:
When filling out the table, be as specific as possible by naming specific people and activities, noting the ideal frequency (rhythm), length of time, time of day, etc. that would most fill your soul (An example in the Relational category: 30 min/evening connecting with Gertrude, plus a 3 hour block of time each weekend doing something fun with her).
Some things to consider while filling out the table (not an all inclusive list):
Spiritual
How much God time do I need per week to feel connected and overflowing?
What time of day is best for me to connect with God?
What Spiritual Disciplines help me connect most with God?
Disciplines of Abstinence:
Solitude, silence, fasting, simplicity, chastity, secrecy, sacrifice, rest, humility, Sabbath
Disciplines of Engagement:
Study, Scripture meditation and memorization, worship, prayer, confession, serving,
celebration, giving, fellowship, submission, examen, contemplation, gratitude,
journaling, justice, practicing the Presence, truth telling, accountability
What are the Spiritual Pathways that connect me best to God?
Intellectual, Activistic, Serving, Contemplative, Worship, Creation, and Relational
What are the most life giving ways to spend my Sabbath day of rest?
Physical
How much sleep does my body need each night to function at its best?
What kind and how much exercise each week keeps my body functioning best?
What types and healthy amounts of foods fuel me and help me function at my best?
In what unique ways do I need to take care of my body, based on physical limitations, health issues, energy levels, etc.?
At what time of day am I at my peak performance? What activities would be best for me to do during that time?
How much touch do I need? What types of touch?
Intellectual
What activities, environments, topics, books, resources, discussions and thinkers challenge or stimulate me intellectually?
What frequency of engagement with these would be best for my mind and soul?
How often do I need to be learning something new?
Relational
Who brings me life? Who drains me? How much time should I spend with each type of person?
How much people time vs alone time do I require to function at my best?
How many people can I have in my closest Inner circle? Friendship circle? Acquaintance circle?
What depth/type of relational connection brings me the most life?
Before/after a draining event or being with a draining person, what would help fill me up?
What balance of giving and receiving in relationships do I need in my life to function best?
Emotional
What brings me joy, fun, happiness, excitement, tenderness and how often do I need to experience these things to be filled up emotionally?
What emotional wounds and brokenness am I carrying? What would help me most to find healing, redemption, and abundant life in these areas?
What are my love languages? What are the best ways to get them met?
Step 4 – Put What You’ve Learned Into Practice:
Choose one or two of the things that you feel the most energy or conviction around to put into practice over the next week or two. Tell a safe friend what you plan to do, so they can encourage you and follow up with you to see how it is going.
I hope you found this helpful.
Thank You:
I can’t say it enough, Thank You. I’m so grateful for those of you who are on this journey with me. I hope this update blesses you in some way when you are in need of soul care.
In His Love,
Randy
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