Randy’s April, 2012 Update:
Book Recommendations:
I love sharing stories of life change, and thankfully there are so many to share! But instead of sharing a story this month, I thought it might be helpful to go behind the scenes and share a few of the additional books that I’ve found helpful in opening people up to the life change that God is already actively at work doing. (See “Book Recommendations” on the blog for previous recommendations).
I see these books as tools that may help identify and bring better understand around the blocks, barriers, issues, and layers of wounded-ness that keep us from deeper levels of intimate union with God, ourselves and with others, as well as keep us from fully living out our unique purpose in this world and in the kingdom of God. With an increased awareness about these areas that hold us back, comes an increased ability to receive the Lord’s healing love, grace, and forgiveness in the specific deep places that need it the most for our transformation.
Here are a few more books I currently use with young leaders in the process of their on-going transformation:
Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction – by Dr Mark R. Laaser:
(Founder of Faithful and True Ministries)
“In one study, two thirds of all Christian men [and one third of all Christian women] admitted to ‘struggling’ with pornography. In another study, 40 percent of pastors surveyed confessed to looking at pornography. Experts speculate up to 10 percent of the total Christian population in the United States is sexually addicted. If true, this means that in a congregation of 500 member, 50 are sex addicts.” – Mark Laaser.
If any of these studies are accurate, this topic seems like something we need to be taking a closer look at, and talking about more openly. With the current easy availability of internet pornography, this is an area of struggle that comes up more frequently in the work I do. I’d been searching for a good book on the topic that went deeper into the roots of the problem and didn’t simply try to slap behavioral band-aids on a gapping wound, (such as through the use of filters, averting eyes, etc. – all of which are great first level surface changes, but incomplete and non-transformational by themselves, especially when it’s a more serious issue). So far, this has been the most well-rounded book I’ve found. In it, the author does a great job of incorporating the teachings of experts in this field of sexual addiction, namely Patrick Carnes, with Biblical truths that are accessible to Christians. No book is ever the end-all, we still need to do a lot of work with God around what’s brought up over time, but I think this book is a helpful read for anyone struggling in this area…but you have to really work it, not just read about it, and it’s helpful to involve God and other people in the process, even though it may feel very shameful at first.
Healing The Shame That Binds You – by John Bradshaw:
Shame, in this context, refers to the belief that one’s whole self is fundamentally flawed, defective, and unworthy. There is a nagging sense of inadequacy and worthlessness, of not being (good) enough (fill in the blank – not good enough, smart enough, outgoing enough, etc.) or of being too (bad/much) for people to handle (fill in the blank – too emotional, too needy, too overpowering, etc.). There is a critical inner voice telling us we are failing and falling short as a human being, or that we are inherently bad and unlovable. It seems to be a prevalent problem to varying degrees, and it is a life and joy killer. I have found this book to be very helpful. So far, it’s the go-to book on this topic of toxic shame. Looking honestly at this topic, in the presence of the Lord and with safe non-shaming friends, often bring about an expanded capacity to receive God’s love, and God’s love changes everything.
Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry – by Ruth Haley Barton:
I love Ruth’s writing. Her language speaks to me so deeply and profoundly, with beautifully crafted sentences that cry out for my highlighter to mark them so I can easily return to them again and again. We are all leaders in some capacity, even if it’s just in leading our own lives (self leadership). This book encourages healthy ways of living as leaders while simultaneously caring for our own souls.
There are still many other books to recommend, but that will do it for this update.
Thank You:
Thank you for journeying with all of us. I know many of you are following along and applying some of the things that you’ve connected with in past updates. May you become more aware, redeemed, and transformed as you work through some of these recommended books. (Note: I’d encourage you to work through them in the context of a loving friendship or community. We were wounded by people, and God often uses other people to bring about our healing.)
In His Love,
Randy
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