The Transformational Triangle

Legacy Shepherding Ministries, Inc. – Randy’s February Update

This month I thought I’d share an illustration with you that I share with most of the people I meet with.  I’ve found it to be a helpful tool in listening to what God is doing in my life (and in the lives of others), so I may better partner with Him in the transformation He is doing inside of me (and inside of them).

It’s called “The Transformational Triangle Illustration.”  It’s adapted from Dallas Willard’s, The Divine Conspiracy, with some modifications by Sheryl Fleisher, my former mentor.  I’ve tailored it into my own style of sharing:

 

 

 

This is Me in my current shape:

 

As someone who loves me dearly, God wants me to experience ever-deepening intimacy with Himself and with others, and He wants me to live out more fully my loving, redemptive, and true design in this world.

He desires to transform me from my current shape (which has been painfully distorted by wounds, brokenness, and sin) into my unique true shape or image.

God wants to free me from the things that have distorted my true identity and my ability to love.  This means He needs to redeem, restore, and transform the things in me that are keeping me from intimacy and fully being who I was designed to be.

In the Christian tradition, we believe that when I received and surrendered myself to Jesus as my divine Restorer and Leader, the Holy Spirit began to dwell inside me.

The Holy Spirit is continually working on the inside with me, pushing and pulling on the walls that confine me.

He is forming and transforming the things inside me that need to be reshaped if I’m going to experience and love God, myself and others, more fully, and live out my unique design.

 

 

He does this in life-giving ways (not shaming ways), filled with comfort and challenge, tenderness and strength, truth and love.

Because God hears the deep cry of my soul that longs for my transformation and deeper intimacy with Him, in His holistic approach, He lovingly pushes and pulls on my walls from the outside as well as from the inside.

In this illustration, He uses three outside sources/forces to form and transform me.

 

 Whenever I guide people through this illustration, I pause at this point and ask them what they think those three external sources/forces might be.  What would you answer?
Answer Key:

SOURCE 1:  CIRCUMSTANCES/TRIALS
One thing God uses to help transform me is the Circumstances and the Trials in my life.

My problem is, on a superficial level, I often desire comfort more than transformation.

When God is not making my life comfortable, I can choose either to fight Him or to assist Him.

To be honest, when things get uncomfortable, I often spend more of my energy fighting Him than going along with Him in what He is doing within me.  Sometimes, my pain has to become intense enough for me to choose to change, to relax my defensive posture, to surrender and join Him in the internal work He is doing.

Through the years I’ve noticed that often my prayer requests revolve around asking God to take away what I consider to be “bad” circumstances, because my goal is comfort and happiness.

There is nothing wrong with praying these prayers.  I believe God wants me to bring all my troubles to Him.

Yet I’ve realized that I also need to be praying more helpful prayers, asking God to use my circumstances to form and transform whatever it is He desires to redeem within me.  I find it helpful to ask Him to show me what He is doing so that I might assist Him, rather than fight and resist the transformation that is ultimately bringing me more love and abundance.

Without help, it’s often difficult for me to see my circumstances in this transformational light.  This is where I need safe and discerning friends around me who will listen to my life with me and ask questions that help me discover what God might be trying to shape and transform in me.

Which leads me to the second source.

 

SOURCE 2:  KEY RELATIONSHIPS
Another thing God uses is Key Relationships.

I can’t even put into words the astounding ways God has used key people in my life in hugely transformational ways.

One thing I’ve learned is that I can’t do this transformational journey alone.  I need safe, strong people who listen and love well, people who will speak loving truth into my life at the appropriate time.

Relationships help surface things in me that are still in need of transformation.  Once they’ve surfaced, God often uses loving, redemptive relationships to heal the things that were broken in the past.

It’s helpful for me to pay close attention to what God is trying to form and transform in me through my relationships, so I may partner with Him in my transformation.

It’s also helpful for me to ask God to bring the right people around me to help me as I’m being transformed.
SOURCE 3: SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES

Another source God uses in my transformation is Spiritual Disciplines (Bible reading, studying, memorizing, meditating, prayer, silence, solitude, fasting, confession, fellowship, worship, celebration, purity, simplicity, secrecy, generosity, sacrifice, submission, serving, etc.)

 

I’ve found it is important to apply the right Disciplines to my life at the right time, which again means I need to be listening to my life for what God is doing.

If I listen closely to what my circumstances and key relationships are telling me, it is easier to discern which spiritual discipline might be the most helpful.

If I align the proper discipline with my current situation, my transformation is often much more dramatic, effective and empowered, and perhaps somewhat less painful.  At least I hope it’s less painful!

Sadly, what I’ve observed about the disciplines is that they are often used not as tools to help us, but as requirements/standards to beat ourselves up with, especially if our church background leaned toward legalism.

Often people come to me with a list of spiritual disciplines they believe they “should” be doing, but have little desire to do.  They feel guilty about it.

I try to help them move from “should” to “want to.”

(“Don’t ‘should ‘ on yourself,” is a saying among some, that often gets a second-take look. ☺)

Sometimes I’ll offer this advice: for right now, do the disciplines you want to, the ones that are working for you, the ones that are drawing you closer to God.  Don’t do the ones you don’t want to.  See what happens.

It’s amazing how over time this frees people up and increases their desire level to experience the richness in the disciplines they thought they “should” do.  Now they want to!

 

What might God be trying to shape in you currently through your circumstances, key relationships, and the spiritual disciplines you are employing?  How could you assist him in bringing about your transformation?
HOW MIGHT I APPLY THIS TO MY LIFE?
Here is a listening exercise you may wish to engage:

• Take a moment to quiet yourself with the Lord.  Breathe in deeply and let it out slowly.  Sense God.
• Reflect on your current circumstances.  Listen for the ones that rise to the surface.  Write them down.
• Listen for what God might be trying to shape in you through your current circumstances?  Write down the possibilities that come to mind.
• Reflect on some of the Key Relationships in your life, both pleasant and unpleasant.  List them.
• Listen for what God might be trying to shape or transform in you through your current relationships.  Write down the possibilities.
• Which spiritual disciplines naturally draw you to God?  Which ones do you currently want to do?  Which ones do you sense would be the most helpful in your current season of life, considering the things God may be trying to form in you through your circumstances and key relationships.  Write them down.
• Consider how you might best assist God in what he is forming and transforming in you.  Pause and listen.  Write down possible ways.  Consider which ones you wish to put into practise in your life.
• Spend some time thanking God for all that he is doing in you.  Breathe and smile.

 

I hope this was helpful in some way.

Please continue to hold me, and this ministry, in prayer.

Please pray that God would continue to do a hugely transformational work in the lives of the young leaders we are investing in, so that they may experience ever-deepening intimacy with God and with others, and that they may live out more fully their loving, redemptive, and true designs in this world.

Please also pray that they would be equipped to assist others on their transformational journeys, leaving a legacy of love.

In His Love,
Randy