Legacy Shepherding Ministries, Inc. – Randy’s April Update
“Genuine transformation requires vulnerability. It is not the fact of being loved unconditionally that is life-changing. It is the risky experience of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally. Transformation…also requires that we stay long enough in his loving presence to allow our shame to begin to melt away…we must linger long enough for it to penetrate our woundedness.” – David Benner, “Surrender To Love”
I think it is important in our transformational journey that we experience God’s love, not simply know about it. I often attempt to guide young leaders into a journey of experiential knowing of God and his love – allowing God to guide them on a journey of the heart, not simply a journey of the head.
Troy is a 27 year-old leader. He has had some amazing experiential moments with God since we’ve been meeting – experiential moments that are transforming him. Troy described of one of his experiences, as follows:
“I left a relationship a year and a half ago – a relationship that I was deeply hurt in. The pain, the hurt, and the sadness still lingered in my soul 18 months later.
“I sat with Randy talking about Codependency. Yep, I was codependent in that relationship. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be cared about. I stuck around for 11 months with someone who really couldn’t love me, but instead continued to hurt me.
“As Randy and I talked, I started to share the experiences I had, the stories of hurt and pain that took place over those 11 months. I almost started to cry a few times. Wow, the pain was still very much there. It scared me to death to recall those painful memories.
“As I talked to Randy I held back the pain from coming to the surface. Randy just listened.
“Then he explained to me that sometimes we need to go back (with God) to those hurt places, to grieve the pain, in order to let it go.
“I could feel the pain in my soul but I didn’t want to go there. It was dark and very scary. What would I find?
“I didn’t want to go there and I didn’t want to let God go there. I was blocking God out of a deep place in my heart.
“Randy asked if he could lay his hands on me. I said, ‘yes’. He came over to the chair I was sitting in and put a hand on my forehead and a hand on my chest. I think he was praying because I started to feel God pressing on the walls of my heart wanting to travel with me to that pain in the deepest part of my soul.
“I resisted. I fought back the emotion. I fought going to the area of my heart. I was scared.
“Randy spoke soothing words: ‘This is a safe place. You’re safe,’ ‘Give it to God,’ ‘Let it out,’ ‘Its Ok. You were doing the best that you knew how’.
“Finally, I couldn’t fight God knocking at the door. The dam broke. I let God in.
“Memories flashed in my head – the feelings, the pain, and the hurt.
“I wept as I began traveling deeper and deeper into my heart. I had never been that deep in my whole life. As I was in that place, I felt like I was handing over the pain to God. It was his now.
“It was a Holy moment and God’s love was poured out over my pain. Wow, it was amazing.
“I left Randy’s house very tender and thinking that I was done. But God wasn’t done. He still had more to do.
“As I got in my car and pulled away, a Hillsong United Worship CD began to play. I started to worship. God just kept loving me as I drove home. More and more of myself started to pour out. God was filling me up with his love.
“As this was happening, God gave me an image – The Cross. I saw the crucifixion in ways I have never experienced before. I saw God’s love poured out and the pain that he experienced on that cross.
“He knew my pain. He came to heal the broken hearted like me.
“God was saying to me, ‘I loved you this much, to send my son to die on the cross. I love you, Troy. I love you even in the deepest, most broken areas of your soul.’
“There in my car I experienced God. I experienced him in a way I have never experienced God before in my whole life, and I have been a Christian for a long time.
“Since experiencing God and feeling his love that day, the scriptures have taken on new meaning, prayer has taken on new meaning, and I see the Christian walk in a whole new way.
“That day Randy guided me to an experience with God that I will never forget. That day God healed my wound as I gave the pain to him. The deep sadness that I carried around for a year and a half is gone.
“Now I can continue my journey with God into other areas of my heart that need redeeming.
“I feel so fortunate that God guided me to a man like Randy and for the community of Axis that has allowed me to heal over the course of this last year and a half. I have grown more than I ever have before, by getting very real with God, taking time to work on the junk of my past, and learning to experience His love more and more. Praise God!!!”
Troy Creamer (Abba’s Child)
Hearing what God is doing in people’s lives is so powerful and inspiring to me. Hopefully, you felt God’s spirit stirring in you as you read Troy’s story.
Prayer requests: Please pray for Troy as he continues his journey. Please pray for all of us – that we would experience God’s love, not simply know about it, and having experienced perfect Love, we would love others respectfully, extravagantly, and unconditionally.
Thank you for supporting this ministry with your prayers and treasures. It has been an amazing experience of God’s abundant love.
Love,
Randy
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